for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
