Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
