If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
