i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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