I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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