so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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