How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize