so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
