i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
