i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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