my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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