I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
