omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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