I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
