I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize