i think i have herpe
just one?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
