they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
