Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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