I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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