That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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