Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
