he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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