I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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