Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize
