He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
