real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
