3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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