he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
