batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
