he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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