..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
