New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize