are you still at the devil's house?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
