There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize