the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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