Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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