pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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