i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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