Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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