Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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