shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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