it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize