Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize