Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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