Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
