Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
