so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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