How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
