My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
