god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just made my gag reflex go away.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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