life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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