that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
