The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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