Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
God, I missed his penis.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
