I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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