do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
