it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
