Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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