I think scott just propositioned me for sex
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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