in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
