Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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