Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
