I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize