The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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