Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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