i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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