he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
