I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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