I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
